Utilizing The Toph
by Krystall Aether
Summary: When Toph is in a bad mood, everyone should run or they'll be summoning something worse than Ozai himself. What takes her frown and turns it upside down?


Author's Note**—**omgoshhallo. I'm revising all my stories. So I deleted them all and will repost them sometime this week. Would you mind being a kind person and reviewing? Actually, I don't even care about the "kind" part so much. I openly welcome flames just as well as praise. So speak your mind and spare the fluffy reviews. Fluff needs to stay in the fanfictions—not the ones I write though, 'cause that's not my style. Kisses. Enjoy.

_Disclaimer—Yeah, I still don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Everything belongs to **Michael DiMartino **and **Bryan Konietzko**._

~*~*~*~*~

Today was certainly a good day. Toph was in a pretty good mood. That element, however, was well in tune with the element of surprise, and much less with earthbending, since Toph's mood changed with the time of day. She didn't even need a reason. As long as she was happy, other people were allowed to be. But, if she wasn't... well, then those other people need to Bak Teh Hell Off and eat a cookie in solitude or something to obtain their happiness.

Sadly, they ran out of cookies a week ago.

So everyone was trying to keep Toph happy.

Except Sokka.

See, it wasn't that Sokka didn't care how other people felt. He certainly did. In retrospect you could argue such a point, but it'll only come to bite you in the butt. Kinda like that snake you sat on while you were hiking in the Amazon last year.

No. Sokka just liked pushing Toph's buttons. Especially the large black one on her forehead. Toph was indeed, a robot.

Well, maybe not. But she was blind, so if she had a black button on her forehead, there was a slight chance she wouldn't ever know it was there. It could just be for shutdown purposes only, and if the stories were told from Toph's point of view, maybe such a button was never mentioned because she never knew it existed. She could've been a concubine for aliens and then sent back to earth with a cursed button in the middle of her little earthbending forehead and no recollection of ever leaving the safe elemental planet she was confined the entire thirteen years of her miserable life. With no recollection of the alien manifestation that she birthed unknowly through a foreign tube and served to the aliens sunny-side up. It Could Happen.

But, I digress.

Toph wasn't a robot. She was simply hormonal. And since Katara was very good with these sorts of things, she tried to keep Toph on her feet and help her see the big picture. Well, maybe not _see_ it... Katara actually made brail pictures. She even auctioned them off at her boyfriend's store. It was called "Avatar and Sons." Aang figured as the last airbender, he and Katara would be forced by the disturbed world to have a crap load of little airbending babies and would probably have a handful of sons out of that.

Hey. At least he plans ahead.

I would say "I digress" again, but mentioning that seems to remind me of my digressingness and then I act upon it again.

But, I digress.

"Hey, Toph," Sokka said as he walked into the room, cracking his neck on both sides. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Sokka," she mumbled. The water tribe boy snickered at her response and Toph sighed. "What do you want?" she asked bitterly. The girl was insanely sick of Sokka being around since he choose Suki over her. That idiot of a Kyoshi Warrior needed to be pushed off the top of a mountain or something. Or maybe just brought to the top of a mountain to suffocate from the lack of oxygen.

"I just came up with... the Best Joke in the History of Jokes."

Toph crossed her arms. "Meh."

"Oh, oh, oh. You say _'Meh.'_ I'm so cool I respond to people with things that aren't even words. But guess what?" Sokka finished excitedly. He didn't even give her the chance to respond. "You'll love this joke. Oh, trust me you'll love it. Err... I hope you do."

The earthbending master glanced in his direction to try and let him know he had her attention. That gave Sokka the green light.

"Wait for it..." He put his hand out, even though she couldn't see it, gesturing to wait. "Wait for it..."

"Snoozles! Just tell me!"

"Okay. Oh, this is just too funny." He snorted and pretended to wipe a tear of laughter from his eye. "SUKI!" he yelled, bursting into a hysterical fit of laughter.

Toph rose an eyebrow. "What about her...?"

Sokka stopped and put on a serious face. "That's the joke. Suki. Get it? 'Cause she's a joke?"

The girl shook her head slowly from side to side.

"I... don't understand."

There was a short pause, but then Sokka walked up to Toph and kissed her. Her eyes popped out of her head and she wrapped her arms around him. And then, SMACK.

Suki had entered the room and swatted Sokka in the back of the head.

"Why... you little..." Toph grunted, prepared to charge like a bull. The earthbender dove at the Kyoshi Warrior and pinned her to the ground. She punched the older girl in the face pulled at her hair, ignoring the cries of pain and enjoying every second of it. Then she stood up and found herself again.

"What the hell?" Suki asked, holding her broken, bleeding nose with one hand and trying to get up with the other.

Toph licked her lips and pounded her foot in the ground, causing a wave of earth to shoot Suki through the ceiling and fling her to who-knows-where.

Sokka's mouth was agape, but he shook it out of him.

"Wellp," he said, putting his hands on his waist like an out-of-date super hero. "I'd say that went well."

Toph yawned. "Yup. Now I'm bored. I no longer have anyone to envy or anything to strive for that I don't already have."

"Awww, that's sweet," Sokka replied.

"Meh."

The boy rolled his eyes. "Hollimoomoo."

Toph looked at him funny. "What on earth did you just say?"

"Ummmm..." He dropped his hands to his sides. "I was just trying to fit in with the whole _'saying things that aren't real words' _thinghie."

And the two of them walked out of the room, still discussing what were and were not words.

And that is why even though they ran out of cookies, they are no longer needed.

* * *

_Guess I didn't have to do much revising on this one. I might have time to fix up my poem/song thing, but other than that, I won't be able to repost anything else today. Thanks for reading and please review :D_


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